THE NEW RULES OF RELATIONSHIP AND LOVE
I love you! I love you!! I love you!!! Ys, you love me but how will children school fees be paid when they arrive? How will house rent be paid? Who handles what per time in the relationship? Love they say is blind but I tell you marriage will open your eyes. I love you if not well managed will land you in hate. At the start of the relationship between a man and a woman all is seen to go on well and many deficiencies of the woman are over looked. The same applies to the deficiencies of the man. Both man and woman will say in their mind “just let me marry her or him first”. The costly assumption is that you will change them when you get married. But majority don’t happen that way. To avoid stories that touch the heart listen up.
Before marriage there is the need to settle differences. Differences are the spice of life and differences should make for strength if both partners are understanding. Pushing the bulk to the man as the head of the family is crazy. The man is the head but does not have to do everything. Many ladies will say I am praying for my husband to succeed. Yes, it is good to pray but wait, what else are you doing to make headship easy for him in the home apart from praying. A nagging wife who is praying is calling for failure in the home. Communication gap must be filled. A woman should tell her husband all her plans and aspirations in life. She should tell her husband her every move. A wife material must not keep secrets from her husband. The day the husband discovers she is hiding secrets from him is the beginning of the end of real love from him to her. He may tolerate her to avoid divorce but know that she will not get his best.
A woman must also keep her husband’s secrets. She should not tell even her mother. Women are talkers but don’t talk your husband’s secrets or all that is happening in your home to outsiders. Outsiders will listen off course but they will not solve the problem for you. When there is crisis in the home its better few people or no one hears about it. The more the people that know about problems in your home the more the problem escalates. Different people will give you different advice to the extent that it causes confusion in the home. During marriage ceremonies, the woman is admonished to always read the Holy books whenever heir are issues in the home. Sadly, most ladies resort to making phone calls when there are issues in the home. Instead of kneeling before her man to appease him they want to claim their right. Instead of dressing seductively, yes for your man and in your home, to tantalize the man, they will be forming too big to beg. Recall that it’s very easy to destroy than to build.
Man and woman must be open in all matters especially money matters. Don’t have money secrets. Don’t hide money somewhere away from your partner. This is sadly common among the women and sadly again they are quick to blame the men. A man wants respect from the woman he loves dearly. Part of respect is openness in money matters. The moment a man sees you are open in money matters he will trust you with his wealth, even with his life. It is said of some women that no matter what the man is going through she will not help him even if she has. She prefers the man to be put to shame than to assist him. Is that a wife? Is that a home builder? Women, please arise to your responsibility, especially if you are lucky to have a responsible husband. Don’t listen to tales from other women about men. Don’t let anyone tell you negative things about your husband. It will affect you and your children if you allow third parties into your marriage affairs. Let your home issues be strictly between you and your hubby.
Some marriage issues must be agreed upon. Who goes to the market? Who does the shopping? Who cleans the house? Who does the laundry? What responsibility will you carry in he home? Who gives to the in-laws? Do we operate joint account or separate ones? Who lives with us in the home? How do we entertain our visitors? How many children do we plan to have? Are we going to further our education? Who goes first for further studies? How do we get money to run the home? and many more are question that must be asked and resolved. I recalled asking my wife during courtship that “how will you help me”? You are to come into my life to help me. How will you do it? You are to come in to help me to fulfil my destiny, how will you help me? The time has come for guys and girls to ask questions before saying “I do”. Love will not buy baby food o, love will not pay school fees or house rent o.
Be wise, the rules of love have changed. Shine your eyes and your brain. Some destiny destroyers are out their seeking for innocent and precious souls to destroy. Check what the intending partner has to offer your destiny. If nothing, please run for your life. Run for your dear destiny. A lady who is academically sound with good prospects gets married to a guy and he keeps her at home, turns her to baby machine. After a while of manufacturing babies, she has to support him by teaching in a private secondary school. The man cannot support her further education because of the needs in the family. Her mates have gone ahead to become great and here she is, lamenting. Who you marry will either make or mar you! Marry a man who knows where he is going and how to get you there. Some men know their onions but the woman is unwilling to follow him. She is not ready to support him. Beware of who you plan to marry. Look out for the signs fast enough.